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Thursday, 26 November 2009

  • Home for the Holiday

    I'm back home again from college. Home for Thanksgiving of course.

    I don't know why, the "good" feeling I get when coming home has been decreasing each time upon arriving home. I remember the first time I came home: feeling so estatic coming home from the foreign place I call college, eating home cooked meals, seeing my parents, sisters, just everything, from the bathroom to being able to step barefoot on the soft carpet. But now, I feel almost nothing. In fact, I feel almost annoyed by my parents and sisters. Even the simple things they do and say. Maybe it's me that's changed. Actually I'm pretty certain its me. I used to not get annoyed by the things they do, and now I do. But is it a good or bad change? Maybe I'm hitting the teenager stage late....you know, the typical rebellious teenager stage that most people enter in high school. I think it's because I've been coming home too often...I should probably stop. I used to miss home a lot. I remember laying on my bed, about to sleep, and just thinking about my parents made me sad, wishing I could be at home with them, wondering how they're doing. But now, I guess I don't miss home much anymore. The urge to come home is almost nonexistent.  But then again I wonder: good or bad? Am I slowly drifting away from my parents? Or is it a sign of independence and maturity?

Sunday, 22 November 2009

  • 25 things

    1.) I'm pretty hard to please. Most things are just meh to me. It really hard for me to find something I like. And if I do find something I like, I usually get tired of it really fast.
    2.) I don't really have high expectations when it comes to guys, they just have to be: tall, handsome, smart, rich, and funny. Haha JK. Actually I don't mind so much looks anymore, just as long as their face is decent, and as long as they're uber funny, and taller than me (5'5). Also poor, but smart--I think a lot of rich guys are snobby. Also no girly guys...like the ones with long hair from korean dramas.
    3.) I'm jealous of smart people. Why can't I be like them?! I'm pretty sure I have less brain cells than most people since I'm pretty slow, and need to study harder than the normal person.
    4.) Ever since college started, I've literally been studying at the library every day for hours. And YET, I still can't do better than others who cram the night before.
    4.) I'm pretty boring. I don't really have any hobbies due to #1 (above).
    5.) I enjoy being antisocial sometimes, just sitting in my room not having to deal with anything is nice.
    6.) I don't like doing useless stuff that are a waste of time.
    7.) I don't like useless stuff, for example, a stuffed animals. They are useless and a waste of money. They just sit there and collect dust, and stare at you in a creepy way. Also, no, I won't sleep with them either because they take up room on my bed, which means less room for me. lol.
    8.) I like to be as clean and neat as possible.
    9.) I try not to judge people, because I've been in situations where I have been judged, and its not fair.
    10.) I don't like mean and deceiving people.
    11.) I like food a lot, I will only go out if we go eat food.
    12.) I'm very sympathetic.
    13.) I wish life wasn't so difficult.
    14.) I'm pretty naive, though I'm working on it!
    15.) I can't get mad for some reason. And if I do, I get over it, and forgive people really fast.
    16.) I can't really laugh. Sometimes I envy those that laugh at just about anything. Sighh I think I'm too serious.
    17.) For some reason, I can't cry...my friends call me a robot.
    18.) I wish I could find out if aliens exist
    19.) Im a college freshman, for some reason everyone can tell...
    20.) I think I have commitment issue with everything.
    21.) Even though I'm pretty boring, I like excitment!
    22.) I try to avoid asking people for favors because I feel bad. But I don't mind doing favors for people at all.
    23.) I get scared when guys are creepy.
    24.) I love the library. The smell. The cubicles. The people. The shelves of books. Oh how it enlightens me.
    25.) I have to see it to believe it. Like for example, if a friend dislikes another and talks about them, I can't really follow my friend and dislike that person too. Sometimes it causes awkward situations because I'm always friends with another friends enemy...
    26.)I wish that money wasn't an issue so that I could find my passion in life with a more open mind.

Friday, 20 November 2009

  • just an update

    Something I improved about myself is that it has become really painful to waste time for me. Towards the end of high school, I got into my lazy stage, and just sat there like a couch potato. I'm trying to enjoy my Friday night by just relaxing and not doing anything, yet I can't bring myself to doing so knowing I have work to do. But I suppose this is a good thing. I really do believe in the phrase: work hard now, play later. But the work seems to never end. When will I get to play?

    In other news. Today Tran and I were doing tabling for CalPIRG this morning, and all was going well, until this other girl showed up. Basically this person gets the award for being the first rude person we've met at Davis. The girl had a attitude problem, her face looked angry, she talked to us as though we were idiots. Whenever we tried to clarify something she always said we were wrong. For example, the weather (something we were certain of). Tran and I both checked the weather and it said it was going to rain 100%. However, when we tried to warn her, she said " No its not going to rain, its going to be sunny out."(in a rude/monotone manner). I really dislike people who think they know everything, and are unaccepting of other peoples opinions/thoughts, and facts. Also Tran was hourly coordinator, so she was like "someone has to stay by the table to watch our stuff". However the rude girl was like "NOO NOO NOO you don't stand by the table and just do nothing, you have to either be here(walk like a feet from the table) or here (walks to another place). We already know that rude girl. You don't have to act like we're stupid.

    Also old news, but UC tution is going up by 32%. Even though the decision had been made yesterday, students are still striking. Today I went to Dutton Hall to try to get some info about my loans and I see students just sitting there chanting "Whos university?! Our University!". I believe in the issue, increasing tuition is wrong. But as much as I want to believe that striking will help, I really don't think it will. Students striked and protested since the beginning of the school year and prob even before that, but that didn't change the reagents minds.

Tuesday, 03 November 2009

  • Overdraft

    Omg, I can't believe I got my first overdraft! Actually 2. I totally miscalculated my money in my checking account, and now a 35 dollar fee has been charged on my account. Thats like 3 lunches. Ughh I feel miserable.
     
    If only banks didn't do this to their loyal customers. I wish they could just not allow people to get anymore money when there is no more in their accounts. But of course they won't. I feel bad for people who go into debt because of this.

Saturday, 31 October 2009

  • Halloween. partying?!

    I woke up to the sound of laughter, people in the hallways and outside making noises, perhaps getting ready for a party. And there I was in my dorm room.

    Today I went to the library to study for chemistry because of my not so well score on the last midterm. Next thing I knew I hear an indian man saying loudly "EXCUSE ME, THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED." Apparently I had fallen asleep. I noticed people that were once around me were all gone. Making my way out to the exit was kind of scary because it was a  big library, there was no one in sight, all the lights were pretty much off, and I was on the 4th floor.

    While at the library I ran into a long lost friend, a 3rd year. She's always been pretty nice person but, It seems to me like she has become a tad wilder, even though she does not think so. I think its because she joined a social fraternity. She asked me if I was going to any parties today. I said, "no". The she goes "have you been to any parties yet?" Then I continue "no". She goes " Whatt?!!! Why?!". I go "I'm so scared!" She goes "Noo,  you have to go to parties, I'll bring to you to one tonight!". And of course, I declined.

    Idk why, but I'm really scared of partying. I don't think of the word "fun" at all. I think of the word "scared". I think of crazy drunk people. I guess its mainly got to do with the fact that I'm a naive freshman. Throughout my life people keep telling me that I'm too innocent. I'm someone that people can just read right off the bat when they meet me, easy to manipulate/trick.  Knowing myself, it makes it hard for me to put myself out there because I know that I'm too trusting of other people, which is of course, not necessarily a good thing. sighh Why must I be so naive? But maybe not putting myself out there is part of the problem. Maybe I need to see more of what is out there...


lilaznswtness421

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